Category: Thinking Deeper

What ever it may be… I am ready for it, Or the start of my 5th ClassAfloat school year.

What ever it may be… I am ready for it, Or the start of my 5th ClassAfloat school year.

Ok. So here it is. I a sorry I haven’t shared anything in ages! I have literally 3 drafts in front of me but I do not know which one to post and none of them are « finished » to my opinion.

A lot of things happened this summer and I am realizing now at one week before the end of the summer season that…. It went extremely fast – as usual- and that I need to spend more time with the off going crew too.

I could start a small debrief of my summer. See what worked what didn’t; the goals I set myself professionally but also personally. Did I reach any? What have I achieved or not? Most of all did I have fun and have I made some people happy? That is all the essential maybe of all the questions I could ask myself.

One week  ago, the next group of students joined the vessel for 9 month in a row.

My last days of freedom, my last days of having a crew mess for crew only and not shared with 20 staff members. I know… small details but it does feel somehow like the Canadian invasion! Not in a bag way… but an invasion is still and invasion. You need to get used to it again. Your routines are suddenly a bit pushed and moved around and the first days people are more in the way till they also find their marks and new routines too. I must forgive them in advance.

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Not so long ago, we were sailing with our last group of trainees of the summer. We were on the north sea. It was rainy and there was absolutely no wind in the beginning. All sails were set and we were slowly moving forward with the engine clutched in. The wind was going to pick up later in the night and we were going to be happily sailing all the way back to IJmuiden then Amsterdam only under sails. This is what we like. You know, when it is not cold and trainees are motivated. They have been asking so many questions and have been on time and are motivated for anything we had been doing. They gave energy which is good and our last trip of the year all together as a crew was in a nice atmosphere. We were just taking pictures together and trying to immortalize these last gatherings. Even though separation is soonish, we are a happy crew.

All this was coming to an end way to fast. Way earlier than what I was expecting. Too soon.

Why does time work like this? That moments are either too long or too fast? why? Who is up there making these moves and why?

Then ALLLL these questions starting flooding in my head.

 

I had been longing for these new students the whole month of June and now I am almost afraid of them. Who are they? The new crew. Let’s talk about them? All joining a new system, a new vessel and replacing others we have worked with, taken care of and had fun for the past months. How will these new ones will be?

I have spent weeks getting to know these great humans I have been working with. Will I ever see them again? Will I ever work with them again? This vessel? Another one? This side of the world? I do not know. Nobody knows. Was it worth it? All these efforts? All these efforts for such short term. Why do I do all this?

How can I handle all these changes all the time?

 

I know I will meet new persons and I will get to/ have to get to know them well while onboard. I will have to explain -once again- how the ship works. Explain -once again- without showing that sometimes I can be annoyed. Trying to be clear in my explanations and instructions but not overload too much – even though a vessel to handover is a huuuuge amount of work- and despite me talking too much…

How to do this once again with the best smile I can, trying not to show that sometimes I just want to go to bed or that questions get answered by themselves.

What is the difference between a short 2 days and a 9 month long sail training trip? In the end both experiences change peoples lives: they will remember it forever. And in both cases we do the same instruction and we handover the responsibilities to them to learn to work in a team and manage responsibilities and troubleshoot on different levels.

Why on earth do I do this???

Will I be able to survive once again a new full year of students, knowing in advance how heart broken I will be in May when they all depart from the vessel? Will I survive once again all these challenges I know we will encounter? Will I be able to trust myself to make the best of it? Take the best decisions possible for the community and the vessel? Will I be able to learn from my past mistakes and have these ones help me in my future decisions and standing strong where my weaknesses occur?

I need to look beyond and not only in the following days.

All the efforts that are put now into place are for a greater and better cause.

I need to remind myself these three following resolutions:

The first resolution: Choose to be who God wants you to be. – I honestly just know he want’s me to be Big Sophie, and I am still just a sophie….

The second resolution: Choose short-term pain for long-term gain.

And the third life-shaping resolution: if you have the choice, better chose God’s values, not our trendy world’s… 😉

Hebrews 11:26 says, “He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward” .

Moses made a value judgment. He clarified what mattered most to him.

What matters most in life? What would I want to matter most in life?

Integrity, humility, and generosity. 

These are important to me and living by them are a difficult task but I am confronted to them every day. It is only since I have started this blog; or maybe because I wanted to start it because I realized what we were doing here onboard.

 

Living on a vessel, in the middle of the ocean, with 79 other persons around you that trust you with their life when we are at sea. Trust you in the decisions you might take when sailing to keep them safe in an environment that can sometimes not be so friendly. Who am I to say I am stronger than the storms we will encounter? I am just a sophie.

These young people; my job; the people I work with. I try to give them everything I know when I first meet them.Everything I know about the vessel for them to feel comfortable in their living and working spaces. To feel at ease and safe. But I have myself everything to learn and from everything.

 

I try to give them what I have when possible: my time is the next step for those with who I will or will want to go further. Sometimes I do not want to but I just have to – if that makes sense?- and in the end, for those that will go beyond these to steps I will give everything, anything and and my entire « who I am ». I will be extremely dedicated. I know for my self that my expectations are pretty high that it is sometimes difficult for people to follow me. But some just manage to be just spot on and even beyond.

On an every day basis; to be honest, I think I am a selfish person. Or as selfish as another I guess? And I always feel guilty about it, when I want to spend time with people for example, because I would make time in my tight schedule for those I think who deserve it.

It ends up I can often feel alone or disappointed because I have the feeling I am giving giving giving always so much and that it never comes back. It is not true. It does come back but often at the moment we expect it the least or in the form we didn’t expect either.

Trust me. I know. I have been already so lucky. And I trust it does come back in one way or the other.

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Living on the ship can be very difficult. There is no escape. You are who you are and you cannot hide. At one stage or the other you will be discovered for who you are. This is just the way it is. We all have our ups and downs and we can all be understanding, as much as we can for the others. But we are who we are. And I am just a sophie. again. For years, integrity has been a real life rule. You can only say what you so and what you do determines who you are if it is done with integrity. In such a small community, for so long, the real you pops out. There are no lies and no false. Integrity is a life rule. Trust, honesty and truth are all included in the term integrity. A high value that enable me to rely on myself and on others. I want others to be able to rely on me for anything and at any level need.

Why is this so important? Because if you don’t decide what’s important in your life, other people are going to decide for you. They’re going to push you into their mold. And you’re going to live your life by their values, not yours. It is my life, my choices, and I am actress of it. Only me can decide upon my actions.

And I do want people to rely on me. I am proud if some tell me I am a role model and that people look up to me. Even though I do not always understand how or why; If I am- because I am told I am- I need to push my values to the end, and I need to decide for myself to show all these young people that they are the actors of their lives and that with what they are given then can go far- whatever the « given » is- if they act with integrity, generosity and humility, ready to learn from anything.

Just to make sure. I am writing these words. But please understand that these values are absolutely not yet « acquired »!! I am totally still working on them.

Aspiring

to one day being able to live by them… I am still working on it and I believe for a long time still…

Working again again and again. And overcoming again again and again my failures.

Persevering.

But hey, nothing worthwhile is ever easy, right?

« Lets not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up » (galatians 6:9)

There are many things that work to keep us from completing our daily, temporary or permanent missions. 

I don’t know if the worst is when I push things again or further in time or if I just loose hope. (that happens so often!!) (I try to kick my butt very often by stepping outside of my Sophie brains and seeing the bigger picture and stop thinking and overthinking too much). The typical procrastination vs. discouragement. « Shall I push away or just quit? » « Am I made for this? » how many times I have asked myself these questions? Sometimes everything seems so difficult: leaving people we got to appreciate a lot, in two days, a few month or in a year: Colleagues who leave the vessel after 5 years, students who became close friends, crew who shared our daily watches more than 10 hours a day during easy days and tougher days.

Life can not be so easy sometimes.

But again and again, lets not get discouraged and start over with new crew, new colleagues, new students. Life is full of surprises also right around the corner.

«  Let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up ».

Do you ever get tired of doing what’s right? I think we all do. Sometimes it seems easier to do the wrong thing than the right thing just because we are tired or done with things, fed up, but integrity and generosity come back when stepping out of the box.

When we’re discouraged, we become ineffective. When we’re discouraged we work against our own faith. When we’re discouraged , we’re saying « it can’t be done ». That’s the exact opposite of saying « I know God can do it because of what he said ».

 

Every time I am « assessing myself »: How do I handle failure? Can I take example on others on how they do? When things don’t go my way do I get grumpy? Do I get frustrated? Do I start complaining? Oh yeah…. totally. I try not to though. But unfortunately those who are the closest of me will know all my interior sophie dilemmas….

But I know my self now for somethings: I do finish what I start, and I do  persist and always try to reach the goal I have set myself. I know what I want and I am not a quitter. I refuse to be.

If you are discouraged don’t give up without a fight.

Nothing worthwhile ever happens without endurance and energy.

You have to continue hitting it and hitting it chipping away the rust, sanding and applying layers and layers of primer to have good base and a well maintained vessel.

And I guess that’s true of life too. Nothing really worthwhile ever comes easy in life. You keep hitting it and going after it, and little by little your life becomes a master piece.

The fact is that people are really just ordinary people with an extraordinary amount of determination. Great people don’t know how to quit.

I, just try my best not to. I still have quite some work to achieve for that. Sail training is not only me for the others but others for me.

 

Why on earth do I do all this?

Because if you would see these youngsters coming onboard and leaving the vessel; they are not the same anymore. A trip of 2 days as much as a trip of 9 month.

Because people grow, because we grow, because we are in the heart of what humans are and we have all of it: the difficult moments and the good moments.

Because the difficult ones lead to constructive moments, learning processes that end up being good moments. Because the results aren’t always immediate; the reward comes later and the reward is often spectacular.

Because even if it scares me, I do want to have my old small stone heart broken at the end of the year , at graduation in may, because it will mean that I would have given my best and all what I have and who I am. I will have given myself once again at the point that I will be crying so much for being separated and asking myself all these questions again.

That is me heart is broken it is because I am a human and I have feelings and that I care. 

And I hope I can say that I do care about each one of the students that has joined the vessel.

Cheers to my trainees and my colleagues!

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This new coming school year is going to be a great one. again. I trust it and I know it. Why wouldn’t it applying all these life values?

This is our year. This is what we do and what we want. Lets give these young – and I am sure beautiful- young humans and spirits the best of what lie can teach them on the Gulden Leeuw.

 

Well that is a high aim but…

… I am ready for it.

Sophs ❤ ⚓

Take your rest when you can!

Take your rest when you can!

Taking your rest.

The Gulden Leeuw is sailing all year around. We have very little time when we are for a few days in harbour, and usually those days are filled with so many things to do that the crew has never that much time to rest before going back at sea. It is, by the way, often said that sailors take their rest back at sea because they go back in a normal routine of watches and systems and regularity. Having said that. Every day is so different onboard that there is also – specially for sailing vessels I guess – the hidden rule to take your rest when you can because you never know when will be the next time you can go to bed.

Sleeping and sailing is a mixture that is pretty interesting actually. We are lucky we can go to bed several times a day, in between our watches. But it also means that we usually don’t and even cannot sleep more than 6 or 7 hours in a row – if you are lucky. Well for somebody like me, needing a lot of sleep, it is sometimes tough, but you kind of get used to it. Indeed I am still there! 😉

Sleeping several times a day means that :

1. You can be in a watch in the middle of the night and in the middle of the day, that sometimes you are never there for sunrises or sunsets, or for some meals; so your routines is a bit strange. And 2. That time flies also in a different way. I cannot really tell if it goes faster or slower. Looking back I would for sure say faster but when I am looking forward to something, it is way too long.

Indeed. You go several times to bed , so you think that your day is over several times a day but.. it is not. You remember when younger you would maybe tell yourself: «  yes! Still 5 sleeps till this or that », « still 4 sleeps till holiday », « still 3! »… a good way of counting down. Well I have tried it here. It doesn’t work. Every thing seems two times longer than usual. And again, when looking back, you just wonder where time went!?

 

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When new trainees join the vessel, we always try to tell them they have to go to bed and remind them to take their rest. Days can be long, and nights even longer! It is difficult, and I understand them completely. People always think they will miss out on things if they go to bed. I can understand that. I am a Sophie and I literally have difficulties making choices; so if I know something might happen I can stay up all night for it! And making the right decision, balancing choices such as « fun+ no sleep » and « sleep + good day the next day » well I’d probably choose option 1.  It is difficult to think in another way such as: « If I wouldn’t have known there was this opportunity, then I would have continued my life the same. So I should just act accordingly and pretend you didn’t know that it would happen, thus take your rest ». nope. Not for me thank you.

The best example would be when at anchor. If we are sailing for weeks already and we arrive earlier at anchor, we usually split the watch in 2 and do 2 hours-2hours instead of 4 in a row. Well sometimes people complain a bit, but I answer that it is actually a bonus because we could be sailing so no split watches.

To be honest, I usually end up staying up with trainees or crew or talking the time to finally watch a movie and realize I stayed more awake than if I had ben on watch the 4 entire hours. whatever.

To take your rest is pretty difficult. Sometimes, you do not really have the choice. The rhythm onboard is ongoing, crazy, chaotic: new trainees, familiarizations, schedules, drills, guests, corporates, daysails, Liaison Officers, maintenance, technical issues, shifting berth…. And all this at the same time – of course, what else?. I sometimes wonder how we survived some days onboard. But we did and days went great (in the end)!

I love when things get really busy because I do not have time to think, it is just ongoing. If I have my brains with me (small notebook I keep in my pocket and locker and write down everything on it) then I just need to prepare a good schedule. Take time to plan it ahead and check with all departments if everything works well on their side.

« just » and « good » schedule…. Of course. The art of managing different departments with the known and unknown in order to please the captain by scoring most of the necessary requirements and the crew by hopefully according them half a day off to go sight seeing and discovering a new place.

In other words, inventing the unicorn.

So there you are with your busy schedule, people running around to get things done and you orchestring the whole and trying to go forward with your own duties and to concentrate on one of these 60 pages captain’s manual you had to read for two days ago for the corporate event, the harbour, the sail training or any other reason why administration came int the sailor’s life… 

But then off course, how many times does one interrupts your motion, to download a grib file because the program is not working, to cast off mooring lines from the vessel alongside, to give the shopping list to the Liaison Officer, to check out some things with the deck crew and answer their questions, to run to the Race Office mobile Home to exchange the crew list for the race pennant… Your day is pretty much full and by 17:00 you realize you haven’t gone forward with your work yet but it will have to be reported to the next day because you have a VIP-firework-evening-trip-with-Classique-Chic-buffet-for-200-guests and that you scheduled yourself behind the bar to promote « department-exchanges » and that you are late to start filling in all the glasses of wine for welcome drinks, and you have to wear that so famous corporate smile…..

Yes the schedule and safety harnesses check and fire extinguishers check still on your notebook since two weeks will wait the next morning…. So will the boring manual you attended reading three time already…

 

As I said, I love being busy, but… I hate being disturbed in my work. I like to be in silence, no talking or noise around, no interruption then I can focus on one task at the time and chop chop things take no time and I can be so efficient. As soon as there is a question that you have to solve something for someone or that there is a coffee break or a question outside on deck, every single task of mine takes five times longer and instead of having two « items open » I have 5 running at the same time, for 5 different persons! priorities, priorities… the worst is when you come back to the shared computer you were working on and someone has kindly started a new task for them selves and you have to wait your turn again….

Then, (and only then of course! 😉 ), I get short and sharp to people and ask people to come back later and later isn’t a good moment either. I do not know why but some days everything seems to happen at the same time and everyone wants you to solve something at the same time and that is when you tend to explode to the nice guy bringing you desert in the bridge…. How awful am I?!

When I am tired, I guess I tend to be sharper faster. And maybe I do not contain my « anger » long enough, and my face gets that annoyed and grumpy mask. 

Yes. I am also known for saying things directly and not always keeping my mouth shut long enough… Although I am getting better at it, I know 200% sure that some people are happy I say out loud what some think and happily, or luckily I do not know, most of the times it needed to be said.

Then you also learn pretty fast that there are ways of bringing the message, of course and listening, nodding and accepting what people have to say is very important too. Take the British for example. They ace at the « politically correct » answer. Every one is then a winner!

I will of course not mention I still have a long road to acquire this wisdom….

Trust me. Event if it doesn’t always sound like it, I love my job and wouldn’t exchange it for anything. I love those busy days because they gather the crew together. The crew works so hard and we rely on each other a lot.

I always believed that a leader should get people to overtake them, and I was already working like that when I was chief scout in Paris. Let me explain.

If you sit, they ( the youngsters, the crew, maybe anybody looking up to you? anybody) will lay down; If you stand, they will sit, I f you walk they will stand, If you run they will run.

Until you want your team to believe that they achieved things as a team, as their team by their own.

This is to my opinion how you will want to se them grow.

But it can be tiring. I admit. 

And It also happened that I ended up not being patient enough and doing it myself (fast and better of course…). Now I learn and practice a lot « delegating ». You’ll see it is pretty could.

The idea is that you make someone else responsible for a task you want to see achieved.

Works- almost– well.

But it also means you know exactly what you want, that you give the good job to the good person and that you are clear in your explanations. It tales time to explain. But it give you also a better overview of who is doing what.

I try to do that in schedules. If we know ahead what is going to happen when, and with who, then you would just need to apply stricto senso the schedule hanging on the door.

hahahha… not that easy… Some just like to read what they want to read. Sometimes I didn’t write down everything either, and sometimes I do mistakes. Yes I do! And often, last minutes changes occur squeezing into an already tight schedule, things to do that would require – at least – 4 times the amount of time we have… of course. Gulden Leeuw style? In the end, what matters the most, is that we always manage.

sophie 4* check out my new schedule for the week!! 🙂 #citybeach #therightchoice *

« If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. »

When I get tired, it is easy, my voice goes away the first. And no. It isn’t because of the beer that I almost never drink. My captain’s who know me, as soon as they hear my voice slowly disappearing send me to bed for two hours. They know I will only go for less than an hour, but they know. That is nice. It is all the talking. Ok, ok I already hear some of you thinking I already talk so much, it shouldn’t be a problem… but it is talking over music at a party, talking louder than other people around or just repeating myself, explaining and training all day long. My voice disappears.

The other day, sailing out of Sunderland all our trainees -56- needed to me familiarized before departure with the vessel and they received instructions in the bridge, for their watches, for climbing, wearing harnesses, for line handling…it is a lot of information. And divided into smaller groups means easier to go around the vessel but also means more talking. A couple of hours later, in a short amount of time it was an abandon ship drill, shifting berth, working on our generator that decided to not work just the moment we needed it, finish bunkering water, making sure the vessel is ready inside to receive 150 guests, making sure all trainees have their tall ships teeshirt on and and are ready at their stations to set all the sails for the first time, making sure we are in the parade at the good time, that sails come down, all passengers disembarked, no trainees lost in the crowd and full speed back to the start of the race setting once again all the sails and shifting to sea watches for the rest of the week….

You just need to go for it. When you think some job or task is to big, most people will walk away from it and end up doing the tasks they know: emails, small non priority jobs, cleaning etc, doing jobs they know. On the opposite, you need to tackle it straight in the flesh to get over with it and done. Then go for the easy known « safe routine jobs ». Just get it done and go for it. This is the way to get forward. Not pushing it away. In the end you realize it was doable, and only then you get better at it.

We managed. I have no idea how, but we managed. And it also went great and surprisingly smoothly! It is all in the mindset. If you believe you will win and manage, you will. If you think you will not make it and that it will fail… the chances are pretty high it will.

Mindset is important also for your crew to mirror your same mindset. What other people think is impossible to do might be common for you.

To be honest, hat day knackered me. I would still do it again though… #crazysailorlife

Since I have been sleeping a lot in the race. I have a full list of things I would like to do while at sea to have more time in harbour, but…. I sleep and read. And my sleeps are finally deep again. Hopefully I will manage not to be angry to fast. Angry at myself for snapping at someone kinder than me. And also getting rid of those black pockets living constantly beneath my eyes…

Only three days racing then back in harbour. It is a short one again… and the story will start all over again :-/

I love my job and not one morning I wake up not looking forward to what the day will bring. To be honest there are also moments when I do think «  shall I just quit everything? »… no sophie. Go get your rest and breath in deeply, and think before you speak; or just don’t speak at all, it would be better haha! ;p

« Do what you love and love what you do »

Time for a nap in my hammock now…. See you later! 😉

Sophs ❤ ⚓

The Thorn Theory

The Thorn Theory

One of the things I find the greatest onboard is what we learn from each other.

Since I am sailing, my social skills have pretty much drastically changed. maybe. sometimes. I don’t know actually. But I do like to believe so. That is a first step isn’t it?

I still think I am the same, but maybe I have learned how to shut my mouth a bit more. Or to let go a bit more. I still don’t do it enough though, but you cannot become a wise person in just one go right? And I like being direct sometimes too. Then people know where to stand (and I don’t always realize how direct I can be… I just say straight what is very square in my head).

Since very young. Maybe ever I guess. I think I can only recall being like that, people can read everything and anything on my face. If I am happy or unhappy. If I look perplex or if I look upset. I do not know . It’s apparently the way I tighten my lips, have my jaws tight that make my face more tense, but also the way I act. I will stay quiet by my side and no one really dares approaching me. Except a happy few!! haha. I am like an open book, anybody can read it out loud.

The thing is that. There are several actually: 

Sometimes it is true. I am in a « leave me alone mood » and God knows how the bridge can be busy, people coming in and out and asking stupid – sorry the wrong questions at the wrong time… 😉 and I am fighting with myself to be patient and not jump on everybody that come in. I actually know that I realize easily when I was wrong and apologize a bit later when these things happen.

Sometimes, people think they read something on my face, but I am just in my thoughts. So obviously there is a misunderstanding.

And sometimes the only thing I want is to have people doing the exact opposite as what my face thinks it’s telling them to do. Just come to me to get me out of there, because my thoughts – negative or not- will just keep on dragging me down and maybe with ideas that are wrong. The typical «  I think someone thinks that I thought he thought…. ». The never ending worrying circle that in the end creates only misunderstandings and complicated non existing situations. – I know these pretty well!-

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How can one manage this onboard? A place where you have to stay professional, friendly, but still get the things done without having people stepping over your feet and over ranking you as chief officer; and still having a social life with all these same persons?

Living onboard is not the easiest, but you find your way through it. eventually. I always say that onboard one grows way faster than on land. Let’s be real here. If you are upset or angry at someone, you cannot just slam the door and just say « ok see you in three weeks I am done with you ». Well maybe the next three hours you still have to work with that same person and.. yeah mmhmh you need to face him or her. Something has to change from one side or the other pretty fast because you cannot always avoid each other. We have to learn how to get over our anger and feelings pretty fast to be able to make it work. And maybe – for sure- say sorry a little more than you would want to. But think about the bigger picture: in the end what is important and what is not important?

It is funny because usually the students in the beginning of the year, they are all afraid of me. hahah. It is funny because after one month or two they tell me that like if it were their biggest secret! «  you know Sophie, the first weeks onboard I was terrified by you, you were always so impressive and on top of everything »… « yeah, so scary …»

I can still recall Iz. Saying that while I was making a like about Wi. And Ea. Who were sanding the wood around the bridge on the monkey deck because I was making a kind funny teasing joke about them laughing so hard. And they were just thinking at that moment «  oh she is funny too and she can also joke haha »

Well I hadn’t realized that training new crew, training new students, training new teachers, doing drills, launching the new year, making sure everything is settled so that we can have a running year, well I never realized how busy it is and well, yes. I am chief officer so a lot of those I my responsibilities I guess and I am busy with it. So I guess I can say it. I am just under the captain in the hierarchy so a figure of authority.

It made me wonder which type of face I had been showing since the beginning of the year!! Oh no was I that busy? But I did remember so cool and funny times so it must have been just with other students then 😉 I do remember a cool short talk with Ma the very very very first evening… about the usage of my longboard haha 😉

I hope I can also be fun. Well I know I can. Yeah you know me now, and you also know I love you all. My job is sometimes really not easy, but I love it. And there is not one morning I wake up thinking I  do not want to work today. Even with lovely cutie students that test your patience all day long ;-).

Going back to my subject.

Sometimes people – I- anybody- just needs time. Need to be alone. think. Think about a discussion one just had or an argument. Or just be alone, away from people for no other specific reason. We live all together with strangers in the beginning and family in the end. Sometimes more than family even. This creates a bond that os difficult to explain.

I haven’t chosen my colleagues onboard. Yet, some I meet again and again and even though we are totally different in everything, I love them very much. Others, well others you invest energy, time and you eventually never see them again, or maybe just once in a while a few years later; but it doesn’t matter. It is just the way it is. And it is good like this.

Some people you spend energy and you want to keep them. You make the active choice to stay in touch. You sometimes also have very different opinions with your colleagues but you still have to « survive the semester as « one team ».

One of my favorite quotes, in French is :

« Nous méritons toutes nos rencontres, elles sont accordées à notre destinée et ont une signification qu’il nous appartient de déchiffrer »

basically: we deserve all the encounters we have, they are according to our destiny and have a meaning that belongs to us to decipher. – mhmh does it make sense?

In short, it is up to us to do what we want with the people we meet. 

With a bit of effort and understanding from what is happening with the person in front of you, maybe you could also be friends! 🙂 Often, we find out what they bring to the group, that you or others do not bring ,and then we realize how important each and everyone in important and has its place onboard.

Of course there will always be some people for whom not effort is required and that from day one. But if you look in every one, you might find some nice things that you like too. You just need to search for them a bit more; and maybe the « digging » will end up on the greatest treasure!

I must say this can require more or less effort. Personally, when crew comes onboard for the first time, I do not share a lot. I have the feeling that I have in the past tried to share so much and that every couple of month I had to start all over again with new crew that it was damaging me more than anything. So people need to be pretty much patient with me in the beginning. Then when they come back, it is « safe territories » so it is as if I know them since ever. I guess this is my shield, protecting me from losing friends too often or putting a lot of efforts to getting to know people, building relations that wouldn’t last. And when you actually do not see your friends and family for so long, it can be pretty tough and lonely sometimes!

On these type of vessels, a lot of people come and go. In your own home. HOME. Yes… indeed… we live onboard. I am really really blessed to have my own cabin. I am so thank full for that. It is small but cosy. And my own. I am so thankful otherwise I would last as long onboard and would need bigger longer leaves. maybe.

So yes. Some are afraid of me, some not, when I am direct then people might be on their guards. But hey, I guess they better be because usually there is a good reason. I am not often upset, and never angry for long anyways. So if someone reads on my face that they have disappointed me. They they know for next time. Pretty clear, direct and simple.

But now. For all the times people think they read that I am upset on my face and I am not… well.. back to what I just said, it is never long and you have one chance out of two that I was just in my thoughts… haha

And finally you have those. THOSE. Those who for some reason or another either know you for a while – my parents – for sure-, my captains with whom I have been sharing 72% of my past 4 years…, and some of my best friends- and those that you just met. Maybe they are so similar to you, or maybe they just keep on going to please me that they go beyond everything bringing me tea, giving hugs – good morning hugs, good night hugs, checking in the bridge to see if I am okay, If I need anything or if they can do anything for me, bring me a tea or a coffee… I have a few of those yogi tea tags that I might keep forever. But most of all for those snail fingers I do.

Its a kind of peace hand-sign. You can « peace with » someone, « peace to » someone by pointing those two fingers at them (with a smile), do « hi snails » be just moving them (curving the fingers up and down) and then the best is the « snail finger connection » when both fingers from both persons touch like and electrical connection, positive vibe power transmitter. 

P1130749Well ok ok… it may sound ridiculous. I have no Idea how I came up with this thing, but I just love my snail fingers and the connection I get with some of the students that, like me, like some routines… 😉

Ok so to explain in a different way. I came up with this whole theory with Ma. One day. I am like thorn. You know like some people have their spirit animal? I haven’t found mine yet, but I did find my spirit plant. To. Would be still laughing at me saying how funny he found that I gave a spirit to a plant…. (mhmh well ok…) so Ma. And I were talking about how sometimes some people do not open up to others much. They will not reveal their deepest themselves. So you can spend one year with them and in the end still think like… do I actually know this person?! Well I can the example of the blackberry. The black berry is such a delicious fruit. It is sooo good!! It is also savage. You do not « plant » it in your garden. It grows a bit on the side of the roads, in fields. But to get it you have to put your arm throw the thorns. So you get scratches everywhere. You get scratches to get to the fruit and enjoy it. I am that plant. (also I think the flower is pretty so… :p just kidding). You might need to get a few scratches before enjoying me. Ma. Then told me that it was so worth it. I remember I didn’t know what to respond to that. That was at that point extreme kindness coming out of a pure heart.

Oh- I miss those talks and moments so much 🙂

Sometimes, we have an upset face, or we think our colleague has an upset face but what we just want is a friendly face to come and talk to us to get us out of the negative thoughts that are in our heads. We will never know what other people are enduring. We all have our own battles but especially on a vessel like this, taking care of the others and respecting them in their thoughts is the best that one can do.

“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion” (Paulo Coehlo I think?)

Sometimes you have to just keep things for your self and make people around you happy. It the end does it matter? So lets just start being less upset, and more open to put the others ahead. And most of all not showing or expressing our own feelings or disappointed thoughts when we have them, so that others, if not every one can be happy.

And maybe… maybe you will se that the way that wasn’t your in the beginning might be a new path you hadn’t seen before… and a better one!

 

❤ ❤ ❤ Sophs ⚓