Me versus Better Me.

*Paddle boarding between Bark Europa and Gulden Leeuw, summer 2017 close to Boston*

Have you already had that feeling that sometimes everyday is the same and that you seem to not be going anywhere? That when you look back, it seems that you have made no progress at all?

A few years ago I had that feeling and whilst every one was making New Years resolutions on 1st of January, I was thinking and contemplating how far I had gone in the past year: what had I gained and eventually lost, at various levels. I was having deep thoughts on my personal life, what I wanted for myself, on my profession – the infamous “have I moved forward?” Question- , on my friends – did I still have any? Or were these all only colleagues and teenagers? -, did I have fun the last year?, what did I do that was only for me-myself-and-I and not for my parents – okay, I would never stress enough the fact that we never do enough for our parents…. My point of view made short – nor my employers?

Well I sadly realised that it had probably been two years that I had been living nicely – I wouldn’t complain- but not really moving forward. My friends were getting married, having babies, or even more babies. Having a regular life, looking like the “happily married after” picture. Some of my colleagues that had been to sailing school after me were already captains for a couple of years now. People were going on holidays in nice places and starting up projects by themselves, building rebuilding. I always had the idea that it was going all according to plan for them; but what about me? What were my plans? Did I have any? Good question.

So that year, when I asked my self what my resolutions were for the new coming year, I set some goals for myself. And since then I do that every year: think about the past year and the next steps to achieve – if possible- by the end of the new year; and most of all: make it happen. Give myself the opportunity to make it happen. “Just Do It” – Nike’s quote fits in very well here.

A good friend of mine A. with whom I was sailing at that time just said something that stuck since into my head:

“If you want something: just make it happen; it is only up to you. No one else can do it for you. You are the only actor of your life. And yes some activities have a budget: it is your choice to decide if you want to or not.”
A.

BAM. In my face. These were just words put on exactly on my thoughts and the picture sharpened while I was still trying to put pieces together.

That moment was probably the turning point when I slowly started moving differently forward. I precise differently because I believe now that I was always moving forward, but at a different pace, or in a different direction. All directions are good though, it is just some are a bit steeper, or rocky… you know what I mean. And I am a Sophie – it seems I never take the easy road either. I started setting goals to myself, achievable goals. But not only small goals; bigger ones that this time made me be ahead of my friends. Material goals as much as mental goals to try to self improve myself. Big words. I know.

Do not start thinking that every week I would make a review of all the good and bad things that happened and that I would note them down in a special diary and try to improve for the next week. It is more complicated than that and it took me years to find what suited me best.

I believe that there are moments in life when you need to recenter a bit on yourself for a couple of weeks and maybe month, but building/ rebuilding / maintaining are all processes that take more or less time. It varies for each individual through the years. And It took me month to figure out what suited me. What am I saying? I am still figuring out! Haha

Logging to be able to look back and keep track

I tried logging in a note book the nice things that happened during the day: at home, at sea. But it ended up a bit as a failure: it seems that I fall asleep as soon as I am laying down and “forget to not these things down” or didn’t have a pen or my nice black notebook at hand reach…. I tried making half of the A6 page full of ships details ( noon position, course, nautical miles, weather etc and all kinds of various daily data that every sailor would recognise himself in) that would leave me enough space to write down only one or two sentences to highlight moments of the day weather it was a swim call, a whale, a funny story, a lovely meal…. Anything. Even that didn’t work for me.

I then tried to make it easier without the daily note book, but on my phone. Typing a few notes before sleeping ( who can say they never have their phone at reach – even at sea?…. it is my alarm, my camera, my bookshelf, my agenda, my memories, my brain(s) all in one! I am almost addicted. I know.). I even found an app that would almost simplify it to a green dot being a good day, and a red one a bad day and you could see overall if you had more good than bad days over the last month….

It seems daily tasks are too difficult for me. Let’s be honest. If I have to set a reminder every Sunday to take 20 for myself to either do a facial mask, wash my hair, shave my legs…. Well… you can imagine how many daily reminders I would need for absolutely anything!

Well… besides washing, brushing, eating, sleeping of course… you got the idea here.

Then, one day, The sister of a former student, M., I am very friends with, was having an Erasmus year abroad in Italy and was posting on her Instagram weekly thoughts, experiences, discoveries to share with her family and friends. And I found myself really looking forward to reading them every week. She inspired me a lot, so I decided to give myself a go in a weekly report when I was onboard: share my experiences, my world with my friends.

BINGO! This was exactly what I needed, or let’s say how I needed to track down.

Indeed, It became like a weekly journal of all the highlights of the week, happy moments, learning moments, expectations and I find it amazing to read back in time and I could finally measure how far I had come just with a glance in my photo feed. Besides all the nice encouraging and lovely messages I would receive, I was impressed how this also had an impact on other peoples lives too: I got messages of friends I hadn’t seen in long and from friends telling me they loved my weekly stories and how they loved following me-myself-and-I around my adventures and discoveries. I share my happinesses, what I learn , what I get interested in but also my doubts. Yes, as a reminder I am still just a Sophie, and sometimes it seems that I have the gift of messing up my life big time. Just saying….

Not all journals need to be written daily in a moleskine. Find your own journal that makes you move forward. I still have a shelve with my moleskines at home though. Notes, messages, attempted journals… I do keep them preciously.

I must admit I am not always on time posting my weekly reports online. Logging, blogging, writing, trying to gather ideas and pictures, take time and I do not always want to. But I do. I force myself, because I know it is a reward – not for the others- but for myself. I do want to be able to look back and see how far I travelled. Not physically but my internal progress and expectations. It is the black and white proof that I have been moving forward and making the best of my time.

Logging is key.

Just do it

Trying looking forward in the new year would make me ask myself what I wanted to learn new during the upcoming months. It would be anything. I was always looking up to people who could kite surf for example. I decided that would be the year to start getting lessons, what ever it would (reasonably) take. I also wanted to learn how to paddle board. I got myself one, and started paddle boarding. I wanted to declutter KonMari style, well… I started going through all my drawers… mhmm Sophie style… ( which means I still have a long way to go! Haha), I wanted time for myself.

The idea here was to follow my friend A.’s thought. If I want to try something new, what was stopping it from me? Just simple questions: would it be possible? Would it cost money? Would it be reasonable? Feasible? What on earth is stopping me from doing it then?

I was basically kicking my own arse and trying to set myself free from whatever was holding me back to experience new things.

I would give myself a budget, and make time for it. I decided to try to say “yes” more often. I still think of it beforehand though. No ways you will every see me buggy jumping. Ever. That is beyond my boundary. I do not see the point of throwing myself in the emptiness to try to experience freedom-flying-adrenaline-or near death. Not my jam. ever.

Okay, now, you see. This is where boundaries step in the game. Boundaries? What do you mean boundaries with paddle boarding Sophie? Like if that is your boundary, for sure you will not go so far!

Let me explain again. I believe boundaries are different for every one. The context, the background, our previous experiences, our freedom, our finance, not wanting to take more space than the one given to us…. All these factors play a role in individual boundaries to my eyes.

See it this way, a few examples out of nowhere: I climb masts of tall ships: 40m high in wind force 8. Not a boundary for me. I do It. I love it. Even if I could ask myself sometimes why on earth I was doing it, I would always come down, knowing the answer to that questions. I loved it: heart beating, rain and wind in the face, control, accomplishment. For others, the boundary is 2 meters above water. Not higher.

*Crew feeling sails onboard Bark Europa*

I cross oceans sailing. Weeks without seeing land, on a big-ish-small-ish vessel. Same. People. Every. Day. No. Internet. Some cannot leave their house for a weekend.

*The bosun checking the sail trim onboard Bark Europa, while crossing the Drake Passage*

I joined the navy. The military. As a reserve officer. My sense of duty is probably further than other people’s. Wearing a uniform, having ranks, discipline, orders, training. For some, this would never even cross their mind.

But getting Kite surf lessons or a paddle board? Oh. my. god. What a boundary Sophie!

To my point of view, these are extra’s. Not necessary in life. I had a nice job: everyone though I was cruising and sailing all year long in the Caribbean. Let them believe what they want. The truth is that is was hard work for little salary. Oh wait, when I think of it now: very hard work for very little salary. And I have spent a lot of time saving and not allowing myself any extra’s because I wanted to invest in a flat…. (See new resolution of the year #1 for moving forward!) and probably because of how I was raised: I would only rarely go to attraction parcs and fairs for example because of the waste of money it would represent. I grew up learning the importance of a penny and saving “ all the littles ones” so that they would eventually get bigger and that I could reward myself with long-lasting valuable items I needed or wanted: a hi-fi, a woolen jumper, a new laptop or camera.

Or again… just to always have enough aside to replace the broken items I had: I am a Sophie remember? If there is any bag that needs to get stolen with my 15” Mac book pro and iPad in it… it would be mine. If there is any water bottle that needs to open in a backpack and kill your camera and iPhone, that would me mine, and if there is any train o bus that needs to be missed…. Well… the story goes on. Some times I believe that people are more lucky in some fields than in others….

Still searching for my good luck field. 😉 Then again luck is very vast and has nothing to do with happiness. Oh I could really go on long on this subject…. Not the point here!

When sailing close by coasts and seing all these kite surfers, then I would just be looking at them with envy. So I decided to take action and give myself the opportunity to learn. In every harbour when I could make time to find 4 hours and where classes were available, I would try to book a lesson – despite the price. I thought that over the summer, If I managed to get 4-5 lessons, I would probably get the hang of it and eventually become better to do it without a teacher and just be able to rent a kite and board and go. I gave myself a budget for it, and instead of spending it on something else; that was my reward and treat in the summer. Experiences. Memories.

*Me, at my third Kite surf lesson in Portugal*

Well…. dream on Sophie. I have eaten sand 3 times for a lot of money. … Some activities are expensive indeed. But I do not regret it. Because you know what? I loved those moments: I went beyond my limits and … I. Just. Did. It.

If I had more opportunities now, I would definitely try again. I got a taste of it. But that year I could look back and say: I gave it a shot: well done Sophie. (Happily I didn’t give myself the goal to directly become champion!! 😉 )

Small steps. Achievable steps.

The paddle board story came one year before the longboard story. But the idea is the same for both. I just wanted to look cool. Kidding.

Often we dropped anchor in bays and I never got the time to go ashore and experience land life on islands. The idea of having a paddle board was to be more independent, sightsee around the vessel, get some “laps” in, have some me time early in the morning or end of the day, be independent to go ashore if I wanted to after the scheduled dinghy ride had left the vessel…

So many good ideas indeed. That year, I wanted to be more into “water sports” as my job is mainly on water. I thought I couldn’t store a paddle board onboard. I didn’t want to over step my place onboard. But after discussions with the captain about the idea of paddling, he bought one himself, and allowed me to have one too onboard. BINGO! Got a good one, got a wetsuit and off I went wandering around. Some people would have come onboard directly asking where they could store it when joining the vessel. It took me time to ask permission if I could store a personal (big) item in the ship’s stores…. What was keeping me back was me living 10 month on a vessel with the weird feeling of being at home but not in my home? Being allowed to use ships stores for personal items out of my mini cabin was my boundary; that got finally set free. I didn’t dare, didn’t want to overstep, was afraid of what people would think if I had more allowances than the others on the ship, just because I was me. I didn’t want to have people that thought I was allowed to more than them. Nowadays I just think. If then, so what? I do me and you do you. If I do not ask I do not know. Asking was my boundary.

*My first go on my new paddle board, transporting a box of Oysters… Brest 2016*

I just wanted to longboard to feel young again, getting a sens of freedom teenagers have. In harbours we are also sometimes far from town and I thought that with a longboard I could quickly go fetch something or drop papers by the harbour master. I fell. Quite a few times. And the fear of falling again ( yes it hurts and gives scars….I am not a teen anymore!) but keep going gave me the chance to escape the vessel some early mornings for a long ride and start the day in a great peaceful way. You should give it a try. I am definitely not a pro. But I definitely want to get better at it. I just need to do it.

Often when you think of things you want to achieve, learn, do; you should simply ask yourself what you need to start doing it. Just give it a try. Go beyond your limits. Who knows maybe you will love it.

Just do it. Just push yourself through it. There is never too crazy! On the opposite! I’d say now after a few years of trial…. There is never too crazy! 🙂 Just take the board and paddle, just take that kite lesson. The reward is that you have made time for it.

On a bigger scale, taking bigger risks have also the same approach. Sophie, you want to buy a flat? Well “just” put money aside, find a flat to buy, meet a banker. done. “Just do it”. So easy indeed. I did it twice. The most difficult, but probably the most exciting was the first step. And I do not regret it. I believed I could. I convinced I could. I could. Looking back I am slowly putting milestones on my path. Looking forward, I still have lots to go through. There is no specific pace. No defined path. But I am moving forward. That is for sure. Just push forward. Communicate, ask, try, experience. Yes, I can.

Planning is key.

Remind yourself from time to time of where you want to go

It is nice to think what nice activities you want to set yourself as goal for the next year, but what happened next? you have tried it once or twice and now what? how does it become a part of you, a regular activity, a habit?

Mhmhm… well I must say that that is probably the toughest part…. Sticking to it. We are humans, And I think I can easily advance the fact that it is quite an achievement for humans to keep staying on track. Motivation, failures, starting, restarting, changing mind, falling, quitting…. How many of us have gone through this? How many of us have been doubting?

You might note that my previous examples were pretty much material, financial, physical experiences. What happens now that the budget for kite surfing lessons is over? What happens now that I do not work on a sailing vessel anymore and that on cargo ships if we ever get the chance to even walk on the quayside we should estimate ourselves really lucky? What if my longboard is now quietly waiting for me to roll on earth roads or in the city center – not happening with me – yet! (That is the whole point of the challenge and my new mindset!) –

Yes it is the mindset. The mindset we are in does it all. As I already talked about in one of my previous posts “ you are as happy as you choose to be”, you move as forward as you want to move.

Where humans lack resistance is very often in their minds. They are weak. They are too comfortable in nowadays society. Everything should be owed. If it is not easy they will not even try. I am the first one. I am human too. And gifted with the wonderful Sophie name – I would never change it!- it always reminds me of the French reading book “Les Malheurs de Sophie” from the Contesse de Ségur. ( “The Unhapinesses of Sophie”). I wandered, I tripped, I fell. I still do. But my mind is also becoming stronger.

I know I can rely on myself. I have proven that I had goals and that I could reach them, even when it doesn’t go according to plan A or B. I managed and I succeeded. I know now that if I want something, I cannot just wait for it to happen. I have to activate myself to make it happen.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right?

Well the more you fall – not saying you should fall a lot- you remember, yo learn, you grow. Again. Who am I to say all these wisdom words. Just me. Just a Sophie, still learning and still on the path. Just a Sophie saying that there is always a solution and a path to walk on. Just a Sophie saying that there are always people you can rely on and that there is always hope, faith and the “Big Book” ( aka Bible) to find answers in.

Do you think luck comes to you? Or that you provoke luck? Either way you have to be in the good mindset to see it.

Wether it is following social media positive quotes, writing down in a special note book positive and mindful sentences, quotes, texts to make you think aspire and keep track and mostly remind yourself what type of person you want to be. It could be drinking amazing Yogi tea with positive tags. I have onboard simple yellow Lipton tea and their tags are also positive quotes that I often leave in the ship’s logbook for people to find, or not: “ make today amazing”, “ think positive”, colour life with goodness”….

In other words. Be good, be kind, do good, do kind. The seeds you plant will come back to you. This helped me a lot to let go of extra weight and make myself more available.You are as happy as you choose to be. You can achieve anything your mind is set for.

Set yourself a goal and stick to it, no excuses.

Okay. I agree it doesn’t come over night.

Encounters, listening, thinking, growing, reading, praying. It is all part of me toughening up.

Yes toughening up to believe in myself. Setting goals and achieving them. Having a plan and sticking to it and if the plan doesn’t work, going to the next one. ( it still doesn’t happen in silence though… I still need to work on my drama-communication skills 😉 ).

Since a few months I am having a cold shower everyday. I used to like it just finishing of with a cool spray, but now I take a full long cold shower. Every. Single. Day. I wouldn’t go without it anymore. What does it have to do with all this Sophie? Well a lot. Not only it is good for your health and your skin, it pushes you out of your comfort zone, it toughens you up. You train your mind for getting out of comfort. And finally it becomes normal. It make your ideas clear and you are awake and aware, relaxed and ready to kick off your day. Trust me. Try it. Unbelievable.

I remember when in my teens I was rowing. We would wake up early, train in snow, rain, wind, heat, any condition outdoors. We were tough. We had to, we did it. It was normal and you become strong. Your mind becomes strong. Later on sailing vessels, anytime of weather, you are outside steering, doing lookout, working with sails. You toughen up. You are out of your comfort zone. And you know what? always. Always I have had a feeling of achievement then and never regretted it. I was in direct contact with nature. What humans nowadays miss a bit too much. Go. outside.

I recently heard about the 75 hard challenge from Andy Frisella. It is kind of a reset on your behaviours. Going hard for 75 days. Indeed we always say that to build a habit it takes 21 days. 3 weeks. Well The human kind is weak. Who can ever tell they managed to change or improve in three weeks only for the rest of their lives? Right? I knew it. Not me. Definitely not.

It is about getting discipline back in your life and relying only on yourself and your honour to not cheat. You may agree or not with the conditions of the challenge. But they are pretty straight forward to reset in a new you. More focused. Zero compromises, zero substitution: diet – no cheat meal-, drink lots of water, workout twice a day – one has to be outside, read 10 pages of a non fiction book, take a progress picture.

It is a challenge to brake the patterns of weakness and to prove yourself that every single day you can achieve what you set yourself to do. It is a mind changing experience. In the 1st phase of this challenge there is also a 5 min cold shower – which you understood already, I already do. I already workout twice a day, I already read self improvement books. But this is committing to do it every single day. You have a goal and you can achieve it only if you set your mind to it. This challenge engrains your decision pattern.

Of course you do not have to follow 75 hard. Any challenge is acceptable, if you stick to it. Just do it. And you will see the changes: Eat real, from the earth, not junk and processed- drink water, not soda, not alcool- go outside, feel the air on your cheeks and in your lungs, the rain on your face because you are alive, – move exercise -for you have a healthy body, read – to keep on learning and being interested, – take a picture – with a smile to see your progress and remind yourself what you are doing every day for yourself.

You have to be real with yourself before you can be real with the others.

I will be able to achieve my New Years resolutions and goals only of I set my mind to it and if I try every day to reach for them, a little closer every day. Small steps. Bigs steps, side steps. Any steps.

If you want you can. I want I can.

Belief is key.

Consistency is key.

Tough mind. Me versus Me.

Self confidence. Me versus Better me.

Why this article while we are way past January?

You are right. I am either too late, or too early. I admit it.

But hey. Who says you need to wait 1st of January to start changing and moving forward?

We are in June 2020. Still 6 month till the New Years starts. Just ask yourself this question: how do you want to finish your year and look back to 2020?

Enough things are happening in the world to start getting a better connection with yourself and not loose connection with Nature and your purpose. There is always time to become who you want to become and act accordingly. There are always opportunities to grow and love better than before. Be more understanding, letting go and experiencing something new, It is part of moving forward.

Me versus Better Me.

One day at the time.

Step by step.

Happiness.

Faith.

It is all how you start and end your day. Start and end your day my refuelling your should with God’s word is a very good start.

“ Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word hat comes from the mouth of God”
(Matthew 4:4)

Your should is the way you think, feel and choose. It is important to give it the good nutrients. Just like your physical body to stay health and if you do not want to feel exhausted, drained and weak.

Starting and finishing your day with God is a good habit to take on. Keep the Big Book open. Keep reading it daily. It doesn’t matter for how long or how good your faith is. Just do it.

It will all fall in place after this.

Keep on keeping on.

Show love.

Care.

Sophs.

The coming back!

Hey there all of you! It has been month I haven’t posted anything in my blog… These past years have been crazy with a lot of life hanging factors. Hard lessons but wonderful outcomes. A lot has changed in my life and I am very grateful for it as I have discovered a whole new side of life.

Some of the major lessons are the following:

⭐️ The people who love you will always be there for you to support you no matte what.

⭐️ When you have reached the bottom, the bright days are coming soon after and you rebounce better and higher every time.

⭐️ All new opportunities beyond your safety zone are new experiences that are life changing. In a positive way.

⭐️ Never stop hoping and fighting for the people you love. Never stop believing.

Of course, in these 18 month I have earned way more than these 4 truths. Every day countless simple lessons, small steps and little joys, letting go slowly of what was holding me back. People being there at the right moment to say the right words… I cannot be more blessed.

It is more important to make the right decision than a fast decision.

You refuse to panic and by getting all the facts and your ideas back in place you need more time. You ask for more time. I the middle of a crisis you tend to be impulsive and not thinking rationally. You want to make quick decisions and you do not see the overview anymore.

A wrong decision is wrong no matter if it was a fast decision or not. I have been so glad to be surrounded my my parents when I needed more time for my self. Years of giving myself 200% to my work and sailing 10 month a year got me totally lost and I needed time to find myself again: who am I? Why on earth am I doing this? What is it that I like so much on being the ship’s slave , running a vessel that is not mine and accepting that other people’s mistakes end up on my plate and keeping on sweeping the broken glasses, again and again. And making me believe I was the problem and not doing my job correctly. Being a slave to a school you do not believe in anymore: showing a pretty cover but not treating their wounds, covering their mistakes with bad make up and showing the kind of leadership I didn’t believe in anymore.

I realised it was a few month probably that I was pushing away the thought of leaving what I thought was confort and the “best job ever”… but I couldn’t face it anymore. I needed time. Time for myself, my thoughts, my life. Recentering on who I was, wanted to become and not on who I had become. I needed rest. Physical rest and mental rest.

From one day to another, I quit my job. And it was so far one of the best decision I made in 2019.

And you know what? A huge weight and burden suddenly disappeared from my shoulders, feeling lighter, and from that moment I knew it would all be fine.

I knew it was the right decision.

Of course, like I said it didn’t all happen that suddenly. This was a process that was longer than what I was admitting to myself. Offers on other positions, reactions from my employers about those offers, not encouraging me but reminding me I was “theirs” as a possession they would keep for themselves and not encourage me to go further in my own path; not wanting to let me go.

A trip to Amsterdam, an appointment with the crew manager of the well known dream vessel; a position offered on a silver plate….. and a paper missing. As we were ticking all the boxes, we suddenly realised I needed a merchant certificate of competency even though it was a sailing vessel. I needed that paper. I wanted that paper. I wanted that job and I was going to get it.

A couple of days later I had contact with a school. I could go to school again for 2 years with home schooling and exams to pass in The Netherlands, a few weeks per year with an internship to do on a cargo vessel.

It was set. I was going to start that school to get that bigger all ships ticket.

A couple of days later I was handing in my resignation letter.

And you know what? I didn’t have to move my pinky finger that within a week I had literally got involved in a new study, another vessel called my for a three month sail from Cape Town to Danemark – yes returning on my mighty Bark Europa was a dream come true! And in two emails I got contact with a big dutch shipping company for an intern ship….

I was sorted for the rest of the year and it all came naturally to me as if people were waiting for me to quit my job. I was available again and open for new adventures. I didn’t “belong to anyone” and was mastering my own decisions.

Was I afraid? yes. Was I uncomfortable? More than once, yes. Was I frustrated? Yes. Did it take me month to recover and gain my self confidence back? Yes. Was I happier? yes. I made myself happier. I tried to focus on all the new challenges and to take them positively. I tried to take the good things, good memories, good moments and I started saying yes to adventures and opportunities rather than declining them. I became more open.

I started a weekly update on my social media when back on Bark Europa as I wanted to share my challenges and thoughts through my voyage. People loved reading them as messages were coming in asking for more and taking me.

I realised people actually liked reading me and made me realise that the way I was seing myself was the opposite of how they saw me.

I must admit I am still in a constant process or battle against myself about my worth. I am slowly daring more and having a better opinion about my work, my looks, my friendships. It took me month to realise that quitting gave me my wings and my freedom back. I am happier, smilier, and the Sophie I was a few years ago is 200% back …. But in better! 🙂

I like that.

I had my first summer home in years. I realised it was so good to enjoy being home with your family. Enjoying small things: waking up late, being lazy in the garden or near the swimming pool, working out, picking raspberries, baking cakes, reading useless women magazines… and getting back into “school mode” and trying to learn dutch “for real” this time…. Indeed, I am crazy enough to start a school knowing that this time, not only it is also in dutch like the Enkhuizen Zeevaart school is, but that I also need to pass the national dutch exam which required a little more than “just a shy comprehension of the language”…. And that my friends… well. No need to say. I am just crazy. A happy smily crazy. But still crazy.

But so far this was the right decision.

The new adventure.

I was a bit anxious about the three month internship I had to do for my new school. It is funny how, even if I knew, I had to ask all the “stupid no so stupid” questions to my friends in the cargo industry: are people nice? Will I have my cabin? Will I have night watches? Will I have time to study? Will I have time to workout and take care of myself? Do I know enough? Will I be good enough? Will I like it?

yes…. I was definitely back to the rank of trainee with all this anxiety haha! I had no idea what I was stepping into and how It would be onboard but it happened that the crew was amazing and that the chief officer was also a woman! I like the woman power even if I can handle men around, it is nice to not be the only one. Even though it actually doesn’t change anything.

Those three month were a bit tough in the beginning as I needed to find my place again. My place as trainee with quite some experience in having responsibilities. I had decided before joining that I would take the experience as good as I could and I would try to be interested in everything I was doing or offered/ asked to do. I had even planned in my head that if the crew wasn’t so nice I would try to focus on the cargo we had onboard and get to know what it was for, how we could use it etc or the harbours where we would sail into…. I had also challenged myself to be or say happy, to take a smily selfie of my self every single day with something that was nice. It could be work related, nature relates, retime relate… anything as long as it was a sincere smile. I though I would need to be reminded of being happy every day. This was my challenge for the 3 month onboard. But it wasn’t hard to do. I liked doing it and it gave me so many pictures to share on my weekly social media reports. I loved it.

It reminded me that you are as happy as you want to be and it is often a mind set.

If you get interested in the world and if you smile, a lot of doors will open to you.

And this is absolutely true. Looking back there was not one day I didn’t have fun! And it showed. I got offered a position onboard.

L I F E. C H A N G I N G. E X P E R I E N C E.

No need to say I accepted. Sails could wait. I was happy to experience something new. Here I am.

I once found this quote on the net, and think it fits pretty well here:

“ I am attracting better because I have discovered that it all starts with me. I am going to change myself first so that everything can align for me. I am not going to blame anyone. I am going to take responsibility for my life. The better I become, the better I attract.”

Cheers to the Old. Cheers to the New.

New job, new ship, new responsibilities, new colleagues, new harbours, new horizons and….

More holidays, more time home, more internet, more connection with my friends and family….

The list could go on and on.

This is my come back with weekly updates on my social media with what I learn and live onboard. Hopefully I can share my World through Sophie’s eyes with you and my not so boring adventures. And mainly give it a fresh start to this blog with my deeper thoughts on life and what I live and learn personally.

I do not regret a single day of my Tall ship life, and I am not closing the door to it. I am really looking forward to be the new version of myself back on these beauties. Sailing for a few weeks, replacing my friends for them to get some rest from the oh so known hard and intense work these cathedrals of the seas offer you.

I am happy where I am and I am looking forward for more rest and more stability. More trust and more knowledge. New projects at home, more time for myself.

Without my past experience I would have not been where I am now.

I am not starting from scratch. I am starting with a background. A solid and reliable one. And I am proud of it. I had fun. Lots. I have sailing vessels and area’s people will dream of their entire life. I am lucky. Extremely lucky, and I know that. I am grateful for the people I have met and for my family.

If you feel like you aren’t growing, think about where you were a year ago… it will put yourself into perspective!

I love new starts. Fresh starts.

Captain H. Says he is blessed to have me onboard. I return the compliment.

I am extremely thankful.

Cheers to the Old. And Cheers to the new.

Do not be afraid to start over again. Do not stop believing. Do not stop moving forward with every little step you take. You are not alone: family, friends, colleagues, God too are there for you.

Sophs ♥️⚓️✌🏻

Posted at Sea. ⚓

I used to write a lot of letters when I was younger. Like a lot. Every three to four years we would move to another country and the only way to keep in touch with my friends was through letters. Every three weeks I could expect letters from some of my friends because we were getting good at replying almost straight away to one another which kept the flow going. That was awesome. At that time, there was no internet yet. ( Like Whaaaaaat??! Almost unbelievable when you think of it!) We didn’t have cell phones and an international call was still pretty expensive so you would only do it once in a while to organize a week on holiday back at their place or something. Yes a phone call to organize something « big ».

Nowadays. No ways. smartphones, messages, social media. It’s all over the place. Where has gone the piece of paper you will keep your whole life in a box that your grandchildren will find one day in the attic?

Indeed, the digital and paperless generation is here. Why send a letter if you can call over roaming? (lets be honest, wifi is now sooo has been ….). Why send a postcard of where you are when you can post a picture of you anywhere in the world to anyone and everyone all over the world?

I must be old fashioned in a way… or simply old (not!) ( by the way, for those who do not know yet… my age is stuck at 27).

In my early twenties, I went backpacking in Italy with four other of my girlfriends. At that time, some of our parents wanted to know every move we were taking so I « prebooked » hostels (booooring -we thought- where has the adventure gone?) and trains on my bank account until the girls would pay me back. My parents were not pleased at all with the idea and to get them to forgive me a bit faster ( you can imagine… ) I started sending a post card from every city we visited within those three weeks to say sorry and to thank them because without the advance of cash I wouldn’t have been able to travel. (longer story short). In three weeks I ended up sending 16 postcards. They were very happy of it of course and I was also so happy to send them because I was honestly thinking of them everyday and so grateful I was being able to travel and visit the world.

This is how my « postcard adventure » started…

Since then every time I can and that I find good enough postcards I send one home. For my parents. I miss them so much. Every day. They are the best parents I would have ever imagined having. With smartphones and internet all over the place, you can be so close and yet so far. With a card, I take time to write something down and send it. It takes one or two days to arrive home and I know they will appreciate what I have written (something I have nothing to say , it happens too!) but the thought is there. I took time for them.

Sometimes the postcard also comes a few month later… 2-to 4 month depending on how remote the place you have been visiting was…

Since I am sailing I have extended this habit to my whole family, and then to some of my best friends, that I now consider family and a few of my very good friends too. That makes quite a few postcards! It used to always minimum of 5, and then if they are cool a few extra and I rotate within my friends; it is now a minimum of 10 I send in every harbour now. Wow I just realized its like 30 harbours a year so maybe 250-300 cards that I send out!!! impressive… 🙂

Another cool fact about my post card challenge is that by doing this I am also continuing a seafarers tradition: « posted at sea »… How many persons could say that they have received a letter or a card with funky coordinates and a huge ship stamp on it?

In the old days, the only opportunity to get some news was to get closer to other vessels at sea, and give them the mail we had if they were returning to land.…

If the ships had the same home port, it was definitively no problem to deliver the mail. News about an arriving ship spread quickly and everyone came to check for news. But what about the ship returning to a different port, or even a different country? How was the mail delivered then? Who paid the postage and in what currency……?

Well, all of that led to an international agreement about Ship Mail known as Paquebot, French being the world’s official postal language. Simply put, if you are on the open sea, which belongs to nobody, the deck you are standing on is the territory of the country under which flag the ship sails. That means, that if you write a letter on the ship’s deck and on the high sea, you should be able to use the stamp of the country under which the ship sails. That also means, that if a ship enters a harbor, the officer should be able to hand over the mail to the local post office at that harbor in whatever country, and the mail should be delivered without any additional charge…

In the top right corner I stamp my envelopes with a ships stamp, and the dutch « post NL» stamp and write down my coordinates and « posted at sea ». I think 95% of my cards have arrived. Ar at least 100% have arrived home, that is for sure! 🙂

I love traditions.

There are quite some funny facts. When Granny receives them, she still thinks I am at the place when she receives the card. So when I come home and visit her and that she has just received that remote card, she thinks I I just arriving from some kind of banana republic in the Caribbean again.. It is sweet..

Or what I really find cool as well is when after a whole summer people send me a picture of all the cards they received with a huge thank you note. I really find it cool that it makes people happy.

Thank you Yoad!

Sorry Laura… 😉 but it was so great that the card arrived faster home than you did! ❤

mom, dad.. ❤

Or better! As some of my friends do not travel as much they send me a huge letter once in a while… they think they will then be forgiven to not travel as much as I do… but they do not know that they had nothing to be forgiven about… but I LOVE reading letters so I never told them!! Hahah

I also have that special friend who has been telling me for months now that I had to check my mail box but I have never received anything yet… all summer I was told he wanted to write me but he never did. So I have send him – hoping it would help- a few envelopes pre stamped and with paper and my address already written on them but…. It seems that that even didn’t help.

It started when he left in Barbados on semester break: « check your mail box Sophs! », « well you don’t even have my address kiddo! » I answered. « life is full of surprises » he said back.

Later in the summer it was a lot of « I really want to write you a letter » « I am going to write you a letter » « I want to , I will I promise »… haha well I still haven’t received anything

I guess some people write and others don’t. I do not know.

In the end the small/ big question is : do I do this to get letters and cards back? What is more important, getting letters or once in a while a text message? Do we write to satisfy ourselves? Or the others? mhmh

I do not know. But I do know that I do keep my letters forever and that text messages are sometimes erased easily and forgotten very fast…. What do you think?

Anyways, I do believe that if you promise you will write, sometimes it is not really about the letter and its content but more about the word and the promise that define you as a person.

I love staying in touch with people and I find it pretty difficult when at sea. I am extremely lucky to be able to use whatsapp in the middle of the ocean… it has been a huge improvement since I started sailing. I do not need much more. Just the people I love close by. I do thinking it is a nice experience to not have phones and internet, to be disconnected for a few days when sailing; but to be honest, I have done that experiment long enough in the pas, and I have nothing to prove. Now I want my friends and family close. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything else.

Ok Ok to be fair, even at sea, you would be surprised, but we also have some rules: no emails and phones ( mhmh sneaky sneaky sometimes! I admit!) during weekends and past certain hours: indeed our offices are in two very different time zones, we constantly change country with different agents, and none of them answer in the middle of the night or during weekends. So we do the same now; and we feel way better 🙂

Yes staying in touch with my friends. One of the most important things for my. Being in touch in contact, sending messages. – yes. I am addicted to text messages-. But why and how? Why on earth do I have such a job and am never close to any body of my family and friends?

When I was student I really was a party girl, going out every weekends till 5 am with my friends, having a lot of social activities, meeting up with a lot of friends always. Never alone and never stopping one second: studying, rowing, chief scout, the navy, working, going home. It never stopped. I like to be challenged like that but it is also very stressful.

Living in a big city such as Paris is great. I LOVE it! But you also get those friends – friends of friends, friends of friends of friends that show up all the time because they are in the « same group » but you don’t really want to see them, and you kind of also want to be alone when its too crowded and even though you have a lot of people around you, you can also feel extremely alone sometimes…

so? Whats the link Sophs??!

“All that is not eternal is eternally useless.”

Well when I went at sea I first found the same feeling as when we were moving younger: time would just automatically « get rid » (ok sounds a bit harsh I know..) of those people you didn’t really want to stay friends with. And only the best ones would stay in touch. And that is what happened! I never changed my number so that I was always available. And people who actually wanted to stay in touch with me did. When I think of it we are often close to shore and I can very often check my phone and emails. Just not social media – at that time-.

So i could totally stay in touch with my besties and family.

I just found a lot of « air » around me and freedom of doing what I wanted.

Well, now. Sometimes I truly miss people and wish I were very close to them. But therefore I can WhatsApp and send cards! 🙂 and we do stay in touch.

I mean it . I make a point of honor to stay in touch with those I love.

I have made a commitment to myself. (upon quite a few, this is one of them).

Your commitments shape your life more than anything else. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you. Tell me what you’re committed to, and I’ll tell you what you’ll be in 20 years, because we become whatever we’re committed to.

– what wait? Will I become a postcard??!! Haha

– no a link, a faithful and trustworthy friend; hopefully someone who values some friends more than anything and that even without post cards or letters back, even if I never reach out enough. Someone who may be independent but nothing without the people she loves.

I say that. But keeping commitments can be quite hard. But without you will only be drifting through life, and while everything will melt around us, what lives we should be living! (2 Peter 3:11).

The same for half commitments and temporary ones. Or even those where the values might not be the best hearted: competition, wealth, fame. There is none of that at sea. And if there were, these wouldn’t end up very far trust me! No disappointment or bitterness. I am trying to ban these. And it would be a huge mistake to think that God’s goal for your life would be material prosperity or to be popular with a lot of success.

Staying in touch with people by letters and cards, messages, calls is a way to value the person we want to stay in touch with. It is pointing out the value these other persons have for us. And fixing the attention on the things that are eternally important: friendship, family, love. A way to keep them close to my heart and hopefully, me close to their heart while I am far away. Mixing up the sayings: so far but yet so close. 🙂 <3. Ok ok… a little quote from the Bible…. in 2 Corinthians 4:18, “For we fix our attention, not on things that are seen, but on things that are unseen. What can be seen lasts only for a time, but what cannot be seen lasts forever” . He really got it right didn’t he? 😉

Gotta go post my letters!